Watch Me Burn
by Bramblejay
Summary: You never meant to fall in love with Alice Cullen but the universe works in mysterious ways. Fate will always win, no matter what, and if you're being honest, you know that you'd burn for Alice forever. A/B


**_Watch Me Burn_**

You aren't sure when you first fell in love with Alice Cullen, sometimes it feels like you were just born loving her. You saw her for the first time across a crowded cafeteria and it was like your soul just sighed and said, there you are. You just wish someone had told your stupid, _stupid_ soul that she was already somebody else's. Her soul already found it's other half, and you like Jasper, you really do, he's a good guy but sometimes you look at him with anger so intense he almost always looks up and you try your very best to squash the feelings that you know he can sense. A half smile in his direction and out the door you go, sometimes it's hard to keep things private with all these damn gifted Cullen's. You try your best though, this isn't a secret you can let out and you thank whatever gods above you that Edward can't read your mind. This is your burden, your curse, and you intend to hold on to it tight. You're burning alive, she'll leave you as a pile of ashes one day, but you think you can handle it. You can move on and no one will ever know the difference. You may be in love with Alice Cullen, but not a soul on earth needs to know that other than you.

*****

The first time Edward brings you home to meet his family goes pretty well. His adopted mother, Esme is warm and sweet and you find her husband Carlisle to be just as warm, with a kind looking twinkle in his eye that makes you feel at ease. Emmett is a bear of a man and makes you laugh right off the bat, while his girlfriend Rosalie seems a little more reserved. You get one smile out of her, after asking Emmett if maybe he was just a toddler in a man's body, and you take that as a good sign for the future. Jasper is reserved, he sort of looks like he's in pain but he gives you a smile and shakes your hand regardless and you take an immediate like to the quiet boy. And then finally, for the first time since you met her golden eyes in the cafeteria all those weeks ago, you're introduced to Alice Cullen, as Jasper's wife. You won't lie, a funny feeling hits your stomach when you see their intertwined hands and you can't identify it at first, this is all new to you. Jasper gives you a funny look that you can't decipher and you give a forced smile as Alice bounds forward and wraps her arms around you.

"So nice to finally meet you Bella! I just know we're going to be best friends." Her voice is like music and bells and maybe the heavenly choir and _my god_ is an angel hugging you?

"How do you know?" Your voice sounds distant, your mind in a fog trying to comprehend all these unfamiliar feelings that are bubbling inside you.

"Alice." Edward warns in a low voice.

"Well." Alice chirps, stepping back with a slightly odd look on her face. "Let's just say I know a lot of things Bella, you'll just have to trust that my intentions are pure."

It's such an odd thing to say, it's become clearer and clearer to you that the Cullen family is, well, different. Sometimes Edward speaks in a way that would be more appropriate in a Shakespeare play than a 21st century classroom. You look at her silently for a long moment, trying to find a response, but it doesn't seem to be coming to you, words have left you.

"Okay." You eventually breathe out and you can physically feel the tension in the room when Edward lets out a short laugh.

"Well, enough introductions, come on Bella, I'll show you my room."

The rest of the day passes in a blur and by time Edward drops you off that night you have a funny feeling in your stomach that this won't end well. You aren't sure why yet, just a lingering feeling, a thought that just won't leave your brain. When you fall asleep that night you dream of Alice. In the morning you can't recall what happened, just a warm feeling your gut that tells you it means something.

Weeks pass, you spend more and more time at the Cullen home, though seemingly less and less with Edward. Alice seems quite intent on her plan to be, as she says, best friends. You spend a lot of time together, most of the time doing nothing but sitting in each other's presence. You spend a lot of time talking, you open up in ways to Alice that you never have with anyone before. The feelings grow in your stomach and you refuse to acknowledge them even though you know damn well what they mean by now.

This isn't something to dwell on.

So you try to focus on Edward and your feelings for him but you're quickly finding that they seem to only run, well, friend deep. You don't say anything though, the thought in itself scares you. You know you're being selfish, but you can't stand the thought of leaving Edward and having to lose all of them as well in one shot. Would they forget you? Pretend you never existed? Would Alice find a new best friend, Jasper a new student to teach chess to? Would Emmett find someone else to play video games with? Would Rosalie find someone else to tease? Would they just avoid her at school or would the family move away all together? When you finally figure out their secret, that they're vampires, you worry even more. Surely now they would just pack up and go if you left Edward, they couldn't let their secret get out. You'd be a liability, one they couldn't risk.

The worries follow you everywhere, no end in sight, and you wonder if any of this is worth all this anxiety. But then Alice spins into the room, dragging you from another thought storm and you feel your heart speed up as a smile breaks across you face.

"Bellabear! Let's go I have something to show you!"

Alice's cool hand grabs your own and pulls you up from the couch. She doesn't let go as she drags you up the stairs and it occurs to you that even if she did, you'd still follow her anywhere. No questions asked, to the ends of the earth and beyond, as long as it meant she would keep aiming that thousand watt smile at you.

It occurs to you then that you might be in too deep.

But if you're going to drown, you'd rather do it in the fire of her eyes than the endless cold of the sea.

*****

You follow closely behind Alice and Rosalie as they make their way from store to store in this crowded mall that they _literally_ had to drag you out of bed for. You can't figure out why, it's not like you enjoy shopping, but that god damn adorable pout Alice had given you crushed your resolve and now here you are, trailing behind like a lost puppy.

"Maybe we should hit that one next." Alice points to a store across the way that looks like it should be inside a castle instead of this dingy little Seattle mall.

Rosalie gives it a brief once over and shakes her head.

"On the way out perhaps." She says thoughtfully. "I want to hit the shoe store first, I need new boots."

Alice gives a happy nod and then glances back at you as your stomach lets loose a growl.

"Maybe we should feed our human first." Alice laughs and your heart melts.

God why does she have to sound like that? Like an angel floating down from the heavens above just to grace your sad little eardrums. You understand why there are so many religions in this world, if all the gods and goddesses look like this tiny pixie in front of you then the wars and sacrifices and unending devotion all makes sense. You would worship Alice until the end of time if she'd let you.

"You're probably right, she's looking a little off." Rosalie looks at you with narrowed eyes but you don't look away from Alice.

"Are you feeling okay Bells?" Alice looks so worried and you feel your stomach clench painfully as your heart runs overtime.

"Never been better." It comes out as a whisper but you know they hear by the strange look they give you.

You force a smile.

"Let's eat!"

You take off in the direction of the food court with Alice and Rosalie exchanging confused glances behind you. The smile stays in place, and you know it doesn't look natural but you aren't sure what else to do. You feel like shit, your heart hurts, but how can you explain any of that to them when Alice is the cause? You'll burn in silence until you don't burn at all.

*****

"God I hate this game." You grumble.

Jasper laughs in front of you and moves his chess piece forward to capture your queen.

"Check mate Bella, better luck next time." He gives you a soft smile that you can't help but return.

Sometimes it's hard to hate Jasper, especially when he's always so nice to you. You really do enjoy his presence, and you've grown pretty good at chess under his careful direction. But when Alice skips into the room and drops into his lap the raging green monster inside of you tries to poke it's way out against your will. Jasper looks up at you, confusion glittering in his eyes so you force a smile, _smile Bella **smile**_, and stand up.

"I think I might head out, it's just about dinnertime." You say as calmly as you can.

Jasper's still regarding you curiously and when Alice pouts up at you your heart takes off at speeds that probably aren't completely safe.

"I just got down here and now you wanna leave?" Alice is giving you a hurt look and you can't tell if it's real or not. "We could reset the board, let me play against you."

You force a laugh that doesn't sound real in any way, shape, or form and it doesn't escape your notice that Jasper is watching you carefully.

"Sorry Alice, I think I've lost enough for one day."

You turn quickly away from her before she can respond, you know everyone in the house can hear your heart pounding and you need to slow it down before it blows your entire cover.

"I gotta get back to feed Charlie anyway, he doesn't fend well on his own." You call over your shoulder, hoping that will satisfy her.

Alice is at your side in moments and you try to stifle the urge to groan as her sweet bubblegum scent wraps around you. You need to get out of here, this is all too much for you at the moment.

"Let me bring you, we can have some girl time!" Alice is hopping excitedly up and down next to you and your stomach twists in a way that isn't entirely uncomfortable.

You glance across the room to see Jasper watching the two of you, he's got a weird expression on his face and that's all you need to make your decision.

"Not tonight Ali, I'm pretty tired, not really up for much."

It takes all of your willpower to not run from the house at the sad look she gives you. God you never want to see her sad, you never wanted to be the cause of her hurt in her golden eyes but _fuck_ how are you supposed to get over her if you spend 24/7 with her?

"How about a sleepover next weekend?" You curse you when the words slip out but can't help the warm feeling that spreads through your body when that gorgeous Alice smile rips across her face.

"Definitely, I think we're long overdue for a makeover night Bellabear."

When she wraps her arms around you in a tight hug you feel tears prickle at the back of your eyes and gruffly clear your throat. Your heart is trying to escape your chest and it's hard to swallow around the lump that's quickly developing in your throat.

"H-hey careful there strong guy." Your words come out strained and when she let's go and looks at you in confusion you quickly pull the door open behind you.

"Later guys." You call out and race to your truck, the door slamming shut with a finality that makes your very soul hurt.

This is all too much.

Inside Alice stares at the door for a moment and then turns back to Jasper with questions written all over her face.

"Can you feel anything off her?" She asks quietly. "I'm worried."

Jasper regards his wife thoughtfully for a few moments, trying to piece together his own line of thinking. He feels a lot of things from Bella, he's been keeping a close eye on her recently, ever since the first time he felt the intense pull the young human had to Alice. It hadn't taken him long to figure it all out, Bella is most certainly in love with Alice, deeply and thoroughly, but it's not his place to drop secrets that Bella would clearly rather keep quiet. And as much as this will hurt him in the end, he's rather curious to how it will all play out, because Bella isn't the only one giving off that pull, Alice appears to be just as deeply enraptured.

"Not much dear, not much."

*****

A paper cut. A paper cut was all it took for your entire world to fall apart. You know Jasper didn't mean to go after you, and in a sick way you kind of wish he'd succeeded. At least then you'd be long gone and you wouldn't have to feel this empty pit in your stomach all the time. They all left. Edward told you it was for the best, you'd be safe this way, but you don't think he realized the biggest threat against you was yourself. Which is what leads you to this cliff, high above the crashing waves and when you step off the only thought in your mind is _Alice Alice Alice._

When your body hits the water you know you could swim, but you don't. You let yourself sink, dropping into the cold embrace of the sea and letting it swallow you. The water is ice cold but it doesn't even touch the flames blazing inside of your heart. As you surrender yourself to the mercy of the tides you close your eyes, which is why you don't see the rock wall before you smash straight into it. It hurts, a whole lot, but you don't feel it for long.Your last thought before the darkness consumes you is that you pray Alice doesn't see this.

You wake up in the sand with Jacob hanging over you and you wish that God would stop playing this sick joke and just let you go. You spend the car ride home assuring him that you weren't trying to end your life but you can't look him in the eyes and you're certain he must know. He knows you all too well. So when you reach your house and see a car outside that has to be Carlisle's he drops you and the truck off without a word and takes off running home.

You walk slowly to the front door and push it open. There's no lights on and your heart sinks a little, maybe there's no one here. Maybe that was a neighbor's car and your mind is just jumping to conclusions out of desperation. Your life seems to have become a never ending parade of maybe's. You let out a sigh and feel the tears start to burn the back of your eyes when a voice speaks out from the shadows.

"Bella? You're okay?"

And when she steps forward it feels like your heart stops and for a moment you wonder if maybe you really did die and this is heaven. You don't move though, you just stand there and stare at her and you aren't used to seeing such uncertainty in her golden eyes, like she isn't sure what to make of you. You want to reassure her that yes, everything is okay now, you're gonna be just fine, but the words burn in your throat and you just let your gaze fall to the floor instead. The months of emptiness and sadness come pouring back to overrun the joy of seeing her face and the old anger crawls up your throat like bile.

"You left." You let out simply.

"I never wanted to." The pain in her voice is clear and you want to look up again but you don't think you can handle it. "It was Edward, I didn't want to go but I had no choice. I've regretted it everyday since and then when I saw...when I saw you today I knew we'd made a terrible mistake and I came back as fast as I could. I won't ever do that to you again Bella, I never wanted to hurt you."

She falls silent and still you keep your eyes glued to the floor. Your mind is in turmoil, you want to forgive her, you want to run into her arms and never let go but at the same time do you want to open yourself up to that again? Do you want to have to watch her and Jasper again? Do you want to risk her disappearing again and ripping you apart at the seams once more? But on the other hand, will you really turn her away? _Can you?_

"I'm just tired Alice." It's a simple sentence but it runs deeper than that and you know that the both of you hear the undertone of pain, of depression, of helplessness. "I need to go to bed. Can we talk tomorrow? Or will you be gone again by then?" The last few words come out sharper than you intend but it can't be helped.

"I'll be here Bella, I'm not going anywhere. Everyone is coming back, all but Edward for the moment." She says softly.

"Good." Even you flinch at the coldness in your tone. "I never want to see him again."

With that you turn and walk up the stairs without another word, collapsing into bed without even changing. Darkness consumes you immediately.

Alice Cullen doesn't go anywhere, she sits down on the couch and listens to the human's slow heartbeat play from above. She's not sure why she let her brother convince her it would be okay to leave her very best friend but she knew that it was unlikely she'd forgive him for it any time soon. The pain in Bella's eyes was enough to make her cry, if she were able to do such things. So she sits on the couch and she waits, determined to never leave her human again.

*****

Three months after your cliff jumping incident things feel pretty back to normal. You spend most days at the Cullen house, school is almost finished and you're excited for a summer with Alice. Alice who has barely left your side since her return, Alice who you can't even glance at without feeling such intense love it's a wonder your heart doesn't just give out. You thought that perhaps you had gotten over her in her absence but it quickly became clear to you that the opposite occurred, you've fallen deeper than ever. Edward came back about a month in and while the two of you have reached speaking terms, you've made it very clear to him that you and him have no kind of future together. All in all things have fallen back into their old routine, mostly.

You and Alice are lying in your bed when things take a turn in a new direction. Charlie is spending the weekend at the rez with Billy and Alice decided it was the perfect time for a girls night. So the two of you watched a bunch of b rated horror movies and goofed around late into the night before heading up to your room to lie down. You lay facing each other, you under the covers and her on top of them. You're feeling pretty sleepy but you don't really want this night to end, you treasure your time with her. Your eyes are drawn to her lips and you wonder how they would feel against your own. You know you shouldn't think like that but it's a bit difficult when she's this close to you.

"Bella can I ask you something?" Alice's voice drags you from your thoughts.

"Mm what's up?"

"Were you in love with Edward?"

"No." The answer comes out too quickly and you try to backtrack. "Not to say I didn't love him, but I don't think it was in love, just infatuation, I think, in the end."

"Have you ever been in love?"

You stare into her golden eyes for a long moment trying to find a suitable answer. In love? Of course, you were hopelessly in love with _her_ but it wasn't as if you could say that.

"I...I think so Alice." You keep it short and simple, hoping that will satisfy her.

"What did it feel like?"

"Like...like the most horrible yet wonderful pain you can imagine. Like being on fire but enjoying every moment of it and when you burn yourself down to ashes you still want to do it all again."

It all happens rather quickly after you finish speaking, cold lips hit warm and you don't even understand what's happening for the first few moments. It hits you soon enough though and your hands fly into her hair, pulling her closer to you. She tastes like strawberries and vanilla and her lips are so goddamn soft, you melt into her. And just as quickly as it comes, it stops and she flies off the bed away from you and you stare at each other in shock as your heart beats as loud as a drum.

"I'm sorry Bella."

And then she's gone.

*****

Rosalie gracefully slides down on the picnic bench next to you, looking like a runway model as per usual. You glance up at her briefly before staring back down at your hands. You aren't sure what this is but you don't really want to find out either. Your heart hurts and this can only lead to more pain but you let out a sigh anyway and welcome in the burn.

"How's it goin' Rosalie?" You ask softly.

"Oh you know, nothing new." Rose's voice is gentle and you're a bit surprised, she's usually the tough one. "Have you seen Alice, Bella?"

You glance over at her, surprise coloring your face and she takes that as your answer.

"I figured as much, it was still worth the ask." Rosalie lets out a sigh and you wish you could help. "It's been a long week, I'm not sure what happened between the two of you during your sleepover but she hasn't left her room since then. We'd hoped maybe you had some idea what was happening."

You look at her for a long minute, trying to piece your scattered mind together enough to give her some semblance of an answer but it's a little difficult when your head hasn't stopped spinning in days. What happened? Alice kissed you, but is that your secret to share? Do they know, does Jasper know? Surely Edward must have seen it in her mind?

"It's...complicated." You finally breathe out.

Rosalie sighs and you feel your stomach clench, you want to help, to ease her worry for her sister, but you also don't want to cause more damage. You won't throw Alice under the bus, no matter how upset with her you are.

"Bella can I ask you something?" Rosalie's voice sounds so hesitant you can't help but stare, you've never heard her anything short of, well, _bitchy_.

"Yeah."

"Are you in love with my sister?"

Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your heartbeat start to stutter and race so you don't say a word, there's no need, your body did it for you. Rosalie nods at you, there isn't much surprise in her face and you wonder for a moment just how obvious you've been with your affection for the tiny Cullen.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen it just...ever since the first time my eyes met hers I knew. I knew she was the one." Your voice has taken on a dreamy quality and Rose is still watching you with an open expression so you plow on. "It was like the universe meant for it to be, they threw us both into this same tiny little town and even though she should've never given someone like me a second thought, she did. She's my best friend, my whole world, when she smiles my whole soul sings. When she leaves I feel like I'm on fire, just burning away until she comes back to me. I just...I never meant for anything to happen, I didn't mean to cause issues for any of you. It doesn't really matter though, she won't...she's someone else's and I...I don't want to burn anymore more." You trail off, your eyes trained on the picnic table once more.

Everything is quiet for a couple of minutes and you wait for Rosalie to tell you how insane you are, how you're going to destroy her family, how all humans do it cause problems. When she finally does speak though, she surprises you.

"It will be an issue I'm sure, but if it had to be anyone causing these problems I'm glad it's you. Alice is her own person, no one owns her, she'll do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. Personally, I think you should burn a little longer, she might surprise you."

Your head pops up in confusion, but it's too late, Rosalie is gone.

"I'd burn for her forever." You whisper to the wind.

*****

Three weeks later you stumble your way home in the dark from a graduation party you didn't even really want to go to in the first place. At some point someone had spiked the punch and you, with not a damn thing to lose, had partook rather heavily. Then, too drunk to drive, you'd abandoned your truck and walked the couple miles home. You don't expect to find Alice sitting on your front porch, not since the kiss and her running away. The two of you haven't spoken much since then and, if you're being completely honest with yourself, it's 99% of the reason you got so drunk tonight.

Anything to not feel for a little while.

Anything to stop the flames.

"Bella." She says softly.

"A-alice." You wince at the slur in your voice.

She tilts her head to the side and peers at you closely.

"Bella are you intoxicated?" She seems surprised and you let out a snort.

"I had a few drinks, so what?" You know you sound like a child but you can't help it, you're sick of this. "Why are you here Alice?"

She frowns at you for a long second and you plop down on the front porch. She cautiously slides a little bit closer to you and you let it happen without protest. You let out a sigh and glance back towards your dark house. Charlie is away tonight, if this turns into an argument at least he won't be here to witness.

"I wanted to apologize to you Bella. For running off after...at our sleepover." Her voice is so quiet and sad, it sends shivers straight up your spine and god you just want to hold her.

"Nothing to say sorry for, no worries." It comes out gruff and you see the surprise in her eyes, you've never been this way with her before.

"And I'm sorry it took me so long to talk to you."

"Alice, it's fine. Whatever. N-no big deal, banana peel." You let out a slightly hysterical laugh and she gives you an odd look.

"How much did you drink Bella?"

"Well what's that got to do with anything sunshine? Did you know that you smile like sunshine?"

"I...I don't think I really understand Bella."

You snap a little inside and you know you'll regret all of this when you wake up tomorrow but fuck it. Alice was supposed to be your best friend, your lifeline, why was she trying to hurt you again? Why did she kiss you? Why did she make it worse? Doesn't she know you've spent the last month just picturing her in your mind, replaying that whole stupid night over and over again? That stupid kiss. Was this just a game to her? Or maybe, maybe you were the asshole, I mean really, who falls in love with their married best friend? That's pretty bad on your part, but _godddamit_ she had galaxies in her eyes and you would follow her anywhere, you would do anything, she was a goddess, you worshiped her. You would burn for her, light yourself on fire just to make her smile. But this needs to stop before someone gets hurt and you'll be damned if you're the one to destroy her.

"Alice. This isn't...I don't think we should talk about it. Ever. It never happened, nothing happened, we can...we can forget it ever happened no big deal." The words burn your throat but you force them out, this can't go any further, you need to give her an out. "I know you didn't mean it, it was just...an accident."

Alice looks at you, golden eyes darkening as the conversation continues. You wonder what that means, it she hungry or upset? Mad or sad? Was this burning her like it was burning you?

"Bella-"

"No." You cut her off immediately. "We can't do this Alice. Nothing happened okay? You need to...to go home to Jasper and I'll go home to myself and we'll be best friends again with nothing to worry about. It's for the best."

"Bella you're being ridiculous, we need to talk about this. I _kissed_ you, this isn't something you did. I kissed you and then ran away, that was wrong of me." She's trying to meet your eyes but you refuse, you'll lose your resolve if you fall into those golden pits.

"I don't want to talk about this." Your voice is strained, you just want this to be over and done with.

"We have to talk about it Bella! Don't you care? Does this mean nothing to you?"

Your eyes shoot up to hers at that and you can feel a lump forming in the back of your throat so you push on quickly, determined to speak before you can't.

"Don't say I don't care Alice, because I do. I care far too much as a matter of fact. I'm on fire Alice, I'm burning and it's all because I care way way too much. I love you, don't you understand? I'm in fucking love with my married best friend. Isn't that just the biggest joke this world could play? I mean how could you possibly top me falling into a town full of vampires and werewolves? Love of course, it's always love." You let out a strained laugh and shake your head. "I love you, Alice, but it's just not meant to be and now I need to mend, I need to move on and then you fucking kissed me. Do you know what that did to me? Do you know how fucking easy it is to fall in love with you? How dangerously easy it was to fall and never look back? How am I supposed to move on now that you've dragged me in deeper?"

"Bella…" she sounds so sad and you can't look at her, can't see the pain you've just given her, can't let yourself see that gorgeous angelic face frown at you.

"It's okay Alice, we can still be friends. I just...I need to be alone for awhile. I need to think." You stand up and turn for the front door.

"You really don't see what's right in front of you, do you Bella?" Her voice is so quiet you aren't sure you heard her right but you still don't turn, you just pull the front door open.

"You should go home Alice."

When the door snaps shut behind you you collapse against it just as the sobs begin to shake your body. You don't move for a long time, and by the time the sun rises in the morning you hate yourself more than you ever have.

"Ashes to ashes." You whisper to the silent house. "We all fall down."

*****

You don't expect to run into Jasper in the woods and you're almost sure he must have searched you out, why else would he be out here on his own? You haven't spoken to any Cullen's in at least two weeks, you've avoided phone calls and texts and kept the windows locked, there's just too much going on in your mind to deal with anyone. He startles you when he pops out from behind a tree as you walk along lost in thought.

"Jesus christ Jasper, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" You hiss out as you hold a hand to your pounding heart.

"My apologizes Bella, I just wished to speak to you and this seemed as good a time as any." He gives you a soft smile and you feel the instant guilt surge through your gut, feeling a phantom burn of Alice's lips on your own.

"Yeah sure, let's just...we can sit over here." You lead him to a large rock sitting in a kind of clearing.

You haul yourself up and he takes a seat beside you. You let your eyes travel around the forest, trying your best to stifle your feelings. Jasper can feel what other people do and it's always worried you that he would guess how you feel about Alice. You wonder if that's why he's here.

"How are things going Bella?" He asks after a long silence.

"Okay. Graduation was cool and now I've got a whole adult life to look forward to. I guess it could be worse."

He nods and stares off into the trees.

"How are you Jasper?" You ask softly.

"Well, to be honest, not the best."

You heart jerks in your chest and you feel your body stiffen as hard as you try to stop it.

"It's okay Bella." He says in a tranquil tone. "I know what happened between you and Alice. I want to say I understand, it didn't take much for me to fall in love with her either, but I fear that might be taken the wrong way."

"She's yours Jasper." You say quickly. "I'm moving on."

"This isn't just about you anymore Bella, don't you know that?" He says it gently but it still makes me flinch.

"What do you mean?"

"Did Alice ever explain to you how her and I found each other?"

You shake your head slowly and watch the blonde haired boy smile lightly.

"She had a vision of me, and when she found me she thought that meant we were meant to be. We joined the family together, sure in the fact that we were supposed to be with the Cullen's and each other. But then she had another vision, not as clear as the one of me, but it showed her that while we were meant to be family, we weren't mates. There was someone else she still had to find."

You can't pull your eyes from him, there's such a profound sadness on his face that it makes your stomach hurt. You're the cause of all this, you're the reason him and his family are in disarray. Selfish Bella Swan, crushing families one at a time.

"Don't feel guilty Bella, it isn't your fault. Fate is oftentimes cruel, that's something I've learned well in all my years. I don't blame you, Alice has loved you before you were even born. That's not something I can compete with." He gives you a small smile but you're still hung up on him saying that Alice loves you. "She knew one day she'd find you and at first she wasn't sure, especially when you were with Edward, but at some point she figured it out. And I knew, long before either of you I think. There's this pull between the two of you, I can feel it, like two magnets trying to come together. It's not something either of you can ignore and I'm sorry that I didn't bring it up sooner. I suppose we could've avoided all this pain if I'd broached the subject but alas, sometimes I am a selfish man and I wasn't quite ready to let her go. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive a silly old man for trying to interfere with destiny."

You're silent for a moment before you very slowly reach your hand out and pat his own.

"There's nothing to forgive Jasper, you did nothing wrong. I'm...I'm sorry, to come into your life and...and ruin it like this." Your voice is barely above a whisper but you know he hears.

"There's no need for forgiveness on your part either Bella, these things can't be helped. You and Alice were written in the stars, side by side, I see that now. I would never interfere with destiny, and I firmly believe that you and Alice are just that, the universe wants you together." There's a somber note in his voice but he gives me a faint smile anyway. "I'll be okay, there's still someone out there meant for me, I'm sure to come across them one day."

"Thank you." You say and hope he understands all that you try to convey in those two simple words, that he understands he's done you a favor so large you'll never be able to repay him.

"Anything for family, especially Alice. She's a very special woman Bella, just...keep her happy for me, okay?"

He doesn't give you a chance to respond before he takes off.

*****

Alice Cullen lays face down on her blue bedspread, she hasn't moved in at least a day but she isn't too worried about it, what's the point? Her usual energy had deserted her days ago, her heart hurt, even though it no longer beat, and she wonders briefly if a vampire could die from a broken heart. When a heartbeat reaches her ears it only takes her a moment to zone in on it, knowing with her whole soul who it must belong to, she'd recognize it anywhere. Still, she doesn't move, she just waits. If Bella is here for her then she'll move, not a moment before, because if the brown haired human is really here for someone else, well, Alice's heart very well might break.

It's been two weeks since you spoke to Jasper, you know you should have come sooner but you were nervous. Nervous she'd reject you, nervous to see the pain you may have caused her, nervous about what you would even say to her, it wasn't like you had much practice with things such as this. You're on the front porch, your hand raised to knock but you had frozen up right as you went to actually make the knocking motion and now you're just standing there, looking stupid probably. You take a deep breath and close your eyes.

"Take a jump Bella. End the burn." You mumble to youself before you bring you hand forward and three quick hits.

_Knock knock knock._

Alice Cullen is up and down the stairs faster than she's ever moved, all thoughts of waiting forgotten. No one else is home, they all went hunting while Alice has chosen to stay in her bed. If nobody was there to answer the door then Bella was sure to leave and then Alice would never know why she had come. Alice couldn't stand not knowing any longer, they would figure this out tonight come hell or high water. With a deep breath she didn't really need, Alice opened the front door.

You look up as the door swings open into the decidedly dark eyes of Alice. Her normal gold is there, but faint, black edges seeping in to crush all signs of the light. You swallow, your mouth going dry as you fiddle with the hem of your coat.

"Hey Alice." Your voice is scratchy, like you haven't used it in a while. "I was...I was wondering if we could talk."

Alice doesn't say a word, just turns and gestures you inside with a flick of her fingers. You close the door behind you and follow her up the stairs. When she enters her room you hesitate for just a second before following her in and closing the door behind you. She sits on her bed and you take your place next to her, leaving room between the two of you, unsure of just how mad she is.

"What did you want to talk about." Alice's voice breaks the silence.

"I...I wanted to apologize, for starters, for that night at my house. I won't use being drunk as an excuse, and I meant what I said but I...I could have worded it better. I didn't mean to hurt you Alice, this is all just so...so _insane_. I didn't know how to handle all these...feelings and I lashed out on you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." The volume of your voice drops with each word until your whispering, guilt sweeping through your body.

"Bella. Look at me."

You don't want to, looking at Alice always makes your head go fuzzy, but you do as she asks anyway, because that's what you do. You'd do anything for this girl, always. You look up into her eyes and she gives you a soft smile that you try your best to return.

"You never see what's right in front of you Bella." She repeats her words from the other night with such overwhelming sadness it makes your heart hurt. "Do you see me?"

"Of course I do Alice."

"I don't think you do Bella, and if you do then you're ignoring it. Which is just as bad."

"Ignoring what?"

"Bella." Alice's voice is frustrated.

"Alice." You throw back.

"It's all right in front of you." She whispers.

For the second time now you're thrown completely off when ice cold lips hit your own. Alice's lips move against your own feather light and your entire brain shuts off. You close your eyes and lean into her as her hands find their way to your hair. Your hands rest on her hips and it only takes moments for you to try and pull her onto your lap. She complies instantly and you lose yourself in Alice, all you can feel is her, all you can smell is strawberries and vanilla and _my god_ how does she taste so _good_? You're on fire once more but this is different from all the other times, this is a burn you could live with for all eternity. Your lungs are begging for air and you swear your heart is going to burst but you won't pull away, you've waited too long for this. Alice is the one who finally breaks from you, she rests her forehead against your own and closes her eyes. You pull in lungfuls of air and it burns going down, your head is spinning and for a brief moment you aren't even sure where you are.

"I've been here all along Bella. I've loved you before I even met you, it just took some figuring out. And Jasper, I didn't want to hurt Jasper. That's why I ran that night I kissed you, I was so confused, I went to hunt and Jasper found me out there. We talked for a long time and he told me he understands, we had a good life together but we weren't mates. There's someone out there for everyone, a soulmate for all of us, and I know without a doubt that it's you Bella. It's always been you."

"That's quite the cliche right there Ali." Your joke comes out strangled because there's a lump in your throat and god you don't want to cry but it seems inevitable. "I did speak with Jasper though, he said pretty much the same. He said this was destiny, that fate wanted us together."

She laughs lightly and kisses you on the forehead. The two of you don't move or speak for a long time, you just sit there with her face buried in your neck.

"Every path in this universe has led me to you Alice, I'm sorry I was too blind to see that." You breathe into the quiet.

"It's okay Bellaboo, these things take time, the universe always comes through in the end."

You smile and bury your face in her hair, inhaling her scent and holding it deep inside of you. The fire still blares within you but something has changed. They burn gold now, to match the eyes of the goddess who conquered them. Fire meets ice and melts into rain, warm cleansing rain that chases through your body, bringing a brilliant smile to your face. Golden energy bubbles inside of you as you hold Alice close.

"I'd burn for you forever." You whisper.

"And I'll burn right back." Alice's breathes through a smile.

*****

**_AN: So this got a little away from me, a bit longer than I intended, but it works. I really am so in love with the idea of Bella and Alice, there's so many ways to play it out, and I just love me some angst. Hope you guys enjoyed it, let me know what you think._**


End file.
